Breaking Silence
by Iori-chan-sempai
Summary: GSD, preseries, ReyShinn hints. The silence is broken.


Rey loves silence.

It's not an initial love, but after many years he grows to enjoy it. It gives him a place to think and a place to step away from the world and be _him_. Words mean nothing when compared to silence, silence is constant, silence is always. Words are not. A change of the times is all it takes to warp a word, or dissolve it entirely. In all his years, Rey had learned to love things that could not be taken away.

Months go by like seconds, he meets people, but never really _meets_ them. He has a sense of distaste for a long conversations about nothing and doesn't really talk. He listens, but never feels the need to throw in his two cents unless it's absolutely neccesary. He enjoys his silence much, much more.

Shinn hates silence.

He hates it with every fiber of his being. It slinks over him, mocking him, reminding him of everything he's lost and will never be able to obtain again. It was never quiet in his house. His parents were always chatting about something, be it business, their children's futures, the news... anything at all. His sister was always on the phone, gossiping with her friends, or begging her big brother to cover for her when she snuck off to the mall.

But after their deaths, he hasn't heard anything like that idle dialogue. Instead his world is filled mostly with silence. In it's absence there are military terms and orders, and just enough decent conversations to keep him from loosing his sanity, but not enough to quench the dreading feeling that told him he was utterly alone.

Shinn has a roommate, but Rey is hardly fond of whatever one could call conversation. Curfew always feels too early for him, and leaves him with atleast two hours full of research and class assignments as makeshift company. But the silence was unendurable.

That is the point where Shinn begins to talk.

Not just talk, ramble. He works on whatever is due as he fills up the emptiness with his voice. He asks Rey for help on his homework, rants about things that happen during his classes... anything to keep the silence at bay.

Rey is slightly irritated at how his precious silence is shattered, day after day, but he never bothers to show it. He ignores the boy's incessant chatter and starts his own work, all the while frivilously trying to piece together his fragmented shield of quiet. He only tunes in when Shinn is talking to him directly, though he refuses to answer to statements.

Shinn doesn't mind. He's perfectly fine with talking to Rey even if he doesn't pay attention; he talks just to talk and drive away the silence. Although, lately he feels a bit selfish, especially after knowing how much Rey adores the least amount of noise possible.

It is only after weeks of hearing Shinn converse about anything and everything that Rey realizes he's actually listening.

Shinn notices, too.

Sometimes, he can see Rey nod or hear him make a small noise of agreement. Sometimes, Rey'd pause from his work and take the time to look at him while he spoke, or, even rarer, the corners of his lips would quirk upward if he told him about a humorous occurance.

Shinn continues to talk and Rey continues to listen, although he tries his hardest not to show it.

Months later, Rey hears Shinn enter, but it isn't followed by his usual greeting and automatic delving into the days events. He watches as Shinn sits and doesn't even bother to look at him, just pulling his work out and starting it. Rey knows something is wrong. Very wrong. If not for the utter lack of Shinn's carefree voice (which he had to admit he allowed himself to get accustomed to), there was also the way he had been carrying himself, and the way how he furiously worked, as if trying to push thoughts of of his head.

Rey opens his mouth to say something but his mind fails him horribly. He can't think of anything to accurately express himself without sounding like a complete and total idiot (in his eyes, of course). He runs through every phrase in his head but frowns and refuses them all. Shinn looks up at him, as if noticing that he's being dwelled upon.

Rey looks at him, noticing the fact that his eyes were reddened. Shinn had been crying. As he noticed it, somehow the murmur of "Shinn..." fell from his lips. Rey's eyes widened as he stiffened quickly, trying to shift his focus to his work. His concern can be heard in his voice and is clearly written on his face as if in permanent ink.

But it's enough.

Shinn cracks a smile at him. He always wonders if Rey feels anything for him, friendship or anything at all. It makes him relieved when he sees that he does. He swallows so that he can speak. He would tell Rey. He couldn't keep anything from him if he really wanted to. His voice is trembling and weary, as he speaks, no... the volume of his voice is only enough to qualify as a whisper. "Today... it's her birthday today..."

Suddenly, it all made sense. It was the birthday of Mayu Asuka. Rey can't keep the frown off his face as Shinn starts to hiccup quietly. "She would have been twelve. But she isn't here... She's dead, Rey! They all are!"

Shinn is crying once again now, though it is filled more with sobs and choking than tears. Rey stands from his chair slowly starts making his way towards his shaking figure. "They left me here... alone. So horribly alone..." Shinn keeps sobbing, his voice gaining strength in his despair and hysterics. "I always wonder why I was the one who lived... Why wasn't it me who died? Why wasn't--"

Rey wraps his arms around Shinn. While visibly surprised, Shinn's madness falters in Rey's embrace."You're here because you're the only one who's strong enough to." Rey tells him, his voice soft and gentle. "You wouldn't want it to be her who feels this pain, her wondering why she was alive out of everyone, would you?" His point rings as true and as clear as any bell, and Shinn finds his sobs softening just a bit.

"Besides... you... aren't entirely alone, you know," The words are pushed out of Rey, clumsy sounding to him, but true. His voice fades quieter, speaking so only Shinn can hear, although it is unclear whether it was intentional or not.

"I'm here."

And that is all Shinn needs.

He twists his body inorder to face Rey and allows the dam holding back his tears to break open once more. He cries into Rey's chest, holding on to him and dampening his shirt. He is oblivious to the deer-in-the-headlights look on Rey's face when he does so. Rey quickly snaps out of it in a few seconds and gives Shinn some comfort. Eventually, Shinn looks up at him as he wipes his eyes, "You'll stay, right?" he asks. "You won't... leave me... like they did, will you?"

Rey considers lying for him, but almost immediately scratches it out. Instead he says nothing.

"...Rey?"

Shinn's voice is hesitant, and his expression almost frightened. Rey tightens his grip on him and rests his head on his shoulder. After a few moments, Shinn accepts his silence.

He lets himself be held close and he cries until there are no more tears to cry. He leans into the soft touch of Rey running his hands through his hair, knowing that Rey doesn't even realize what he's doing.

Soon, Shinn's cries grow quiet, and by the slow, deep breaths he takes, Rey deduces that he must have fallen asleep. He releases a small sigh and gives Shinn a soft look, before closing his eyes as well.

The next day, it was back to normal, despite the fact that it had started with a rude awakening. They had slept in passed the first bell of class, and their inspection officer had found them on their floor, lying in eachother's arms.

But after the drills and the cleaning duty were over, and they'd gotten their make-up work, Shinn begins his talking once more.

Rey welcomes it, although he is almost angry at himself for missing Shinn's voice. Shinn makes up for lost time as he goes on non-stop about both everything and nothing at the same time. Unfortunately, Rey's having a bit of trouble with whatever he is working and Shinn isn't helping at all.

Especially since Rey couldn't just tune him out anymore. Ever since the day he started to listen to him, he was unable to block him out. Rey heaves a small sigh and gives Shinn a look; "Shinn." he starts, talking to him amidst his ranting for the first time. Shinn is shocked more or less, but answers anyway, stopping in mid-sentence. "...If I by you ice cream, will you _please_ be quiet for the next 3 minutes?"

Shinn is too amused at the boy's manner and mystified by the offer to be offended. "Extra large?" he finds himself asking, with a smile on his face.

Rey gives him a dry look, "Whatever it takes."

Shinn obliges happily.

Shinn doesn't hate the silence as much as he used to. There are times that he finds himself embracing the comfortable silence that he and Rey share. He continues to talk, but neither as obsessively nor as constantly. He doesn't feel the need to anymore, but it has become almost habituary to him. He never once thinks about his loneliness like he did.

A simple, 'I'm here,' was enough for him and still is.

Rey doesn't mind the endless roar of crowds as much as he once did. There are even times where he indulges himself in a conversation not relating to school or anything professional. He keeps his silence, but doesn't find the need to shield himself in it anymore. It's a hard habit to break, however. He never once has to hide to be himself like he used to.

A certain red-eyed brunette is at fault for that.


End file.
